The Main Reason They Leave
Some people are only happy when you're miserable. The moment you stop talking negatively, they retreat. How dare you find something positive in your life. What do you have to smile about?
They want you to remember the pain and stop trying to better yourself. Stop trying to improve your situation or search for a silver lining. You are supposed to deal with the rain and accept the grey clouds. You are supposed to accept that there's no light at the end of the tunnel and lose yourself in the darkness.
Who cares that you found something to laugh about, give them tears and lots of it. Keep that positivity to yourself and narrate your despair. Write a sad lonely poem and maybe a suicide note while you're at it.
They would love that.
The only reason they tolerate you is because you make them feel better about their life. No matter how bad it gets, they can go on knowing that at least they are not you. At least they don't have the hell that is your life and therefore they can tolerate the mediocrity of their own.
Why do you go and ruin that?
Success is not in your future. Happiness is not in the cards. Even contentment is off the table for you. Your only option is depression, pain, and despair.
They want you to give up, give in, and let go of any hope. Pour your pain out on the pages so that they can frame it and hang it on the wall. It would be even better if they get a copy signed with your tears. That would make it their most cherished possession.
Unfortunately for them, you have a glimmer of hope. You never gave up searching for the peace that you know is rightfully yours. You keep trying to get up, no matter how many times you get knocked down. You won't stop trying and the list of ideas keeps getting longer. You won't rest until you've dug yourself out and you will climb out of the grave to look them in their eyes. You're not dead yet and you won't give up until you take your last breath.
They will leave you. The exodus has already begun, but that's alright. You will find a way to keep living without their presence. Your world won't stop spinning and you won't even notice that they are gone.
Keep your head up and watch how small your circle becomes.