I May Not Have Been Entirely Honest

Anything to move forward

Photo by Ilham Rahmansyah on Unsplash

I sat face to face with this man, looked him straight in the eyes, and lied with a smile on my face.

How many times have I talked about wanting to get out of my soul-sucking, anxiety-causing, life-taking job? How many times have I logged into the computer to start my workday with tears in my eyes trying to come up with an excuse to end the misery without feeling like a total failure when the bills come due? How many meltdowns, callouts, and Doctor's notes have there been?

Too many to count.

How have they not fired me?

Anyway.

I had a second interview today and I think it went pretty well. The only concern is that it may include longer travel than I anticipated. It was a shock to hear about the properties on the other side of the state, which would require highway travel.

I said that it was no problem, but my heart raced at the very thought of taking the highway. My fear of highways and bridges has kept me from so much, but it won't keep me from getting out of this out of the daily torture that is debt collection.

So while it may have initially been a lie when I looked my interviewer in the face and said that driving across the state to show a property would be no problem at all, if I get this job I will make sure it is not. I will face my fear head-on and do what I have to do so that I never again have to get threatened and cursed out over the phone for just doing the job that I don't want to do anyway.